I have been thinking about faith a lot lately. I should probably mention I am not religious. But lately religion has been on my mind. I have been feeling that there is something missing in my life, but I am not sure what that something is. Life has been hard this past year, for different reasons. Sometimes I wish I had something to turn to, I wished I had faith.

I read other blogs who talk about faith and I think it is a wonderful and profound thing. I envy the. I am jealous of them.

You would think that an answer to my issue would be simple. Find faith. Pick up a bible. Go to church and find god. But for me it is not that simple. I have gone to church. When I was young I went to Sunday School, as well as bible camp. I will be honest, I have not read the bible, but am in the process of reading a children’s version. I was married in a church and both my children were christened. But the christian faith just does not feel right to me, and it never has.

It is not a lack of believing. I am actually very open minded about the idea of something greater. But in every situation that I find myself placed within the christian faith I am uncomfortable. It just does not fell right for ME. That is not something I can ignore.

So where does this leave me? A bit lost to be honest. There are other religions that I think would suit my spiritual needs, however this leads me to another problem. These religions are not accepted by those of Christian faith.  We have family members that have strong feelings in their religion, as well as friends. I think I would risk lossing these people and I am not sure that is something I am prepared to do.

Another issue is my blogging world. Many of the blogs I follow and those who follow me back are of a Christian faith. Would I lose readers due to this? Would you stop reading a blog by someone you knew to be of a faith that is very different from yours?

I think this is an inner turmoil I have had for years, I think it is the reason I choose to be faithless and not follow any religion. Thinking about it me asks the questions ‘Do I need religion in my life?’. I can’t answer this question. Can I be a believer, but not follow and just observe? I can’t answer that either.