Don’t worry, I’m not changing my blog name again 😉 .
The past few weeks have been hard. Hard on me, hard on the kids and hard on my husband. The children and I are suffereing from an ongoing virus that keeps me coughing all night and the kids having fevers. I have been home with sick kids almost every day this past month.
This combine with some other stresses we are facing at the moment has taken a toll on the relationship between me and my husband. We have grown a bit apart.
Finally, with both kids being at home on Wednesday, I broke down. I was a sobbing, hyperventilating mess. I and told him that we needed some things to change and that we could not keep following the path we are. I told him my feelings on a lot of things. He took it really well and agreed with most of everything. Just his understanding lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
In this conversation I also told him I needed some time. Some real alone time. So this weekend I am getting a whole weekend to myself. My husband has taken the kids to his dads.
I am going to use this time to relax and do some of the things I have been wanting to get done in a long time. It will also give me some time to reflect.
I am going to miss the family. This will be the first time I am away from my son overnight, however I really feel I need this time.
I have also made a decision, one that I am going to stick too. One I told my husband that I am going to do it, and he needs to support it (he does). I want to be a photographer. It is something I have wanted to do since high school. So I told my husband I am buying a camera some time in the next year. It does not need to be an expensive one, but it needs to be one I can build a portfolio with. I also love design, so I am also going to do that. But I am also giving myself time. I will be going on maternity in August, so starting a business now is not going to work. So that give me about a year or so to get everything in place. This gives me time to build a portfolio.
So you can probably look forward to more free goodies from me in the future, as well as design giveaways once I get some stuff set up.
I finally feel like I have chosen a path I can follow. I finally feel like that maybe I can move forward.
These last few months have been kind of dark for me, and if it were not for moments like these:
I am not sure how I would have made it through, but through it I think I have come. I can see a bit of light at the end of a long dark tunnel.