On Monday I celebrated my 7 year wedding anniversary. Well actually there wasn’t so much celebrating and more of a happy anniversary kiss and getting on with the day. We did have a spa date a couple weeks ago to celebrate, but nothing special.
For most people, they might see this lack of celebration as warning signs. Perhaps some of you think, oh no, if you’re not celebrating your marriage your marriage is not doing well. But the truth is, you don’t need to celebrate your marriage only 1 day a year. A wedding anniversary should not be the only excuse to celebrate your wedding. It should be celebrated most days.
Something I have learned after 7 years of marriage is that you need to celebrate each other on a regular basis. We learnt this the hard way. It wasn’t until the words ‘divorce’ and ‘then go back to Canada’ were spoken outloud that we realized we needed to do more for each other. After many tears and hard conversation we discussed what the other needed from the other. It really wasn’t that complicated, it was just a matter of more sex (yes, really, but perhaps that is another post) and more communication/acknowledgement). You see marriage takes work, every day, all year round. But the work isn’t complicated. Your marriage needs to be celebrated every day, in small ways, instead of once a year in a single big way. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something for your anniversary, but it does mean if you have a year where life is busy, it is okay to skip the big fancy date and it won’t feel like a big deal.
Now, I am going to switch gears a bit in the post, because I need to tell you all how much I love my husband. I love him more than the day I married him. He deserves a post where I tell everyone that.
I am incredibly lucky. There is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t think that. My husband supports me 100%. He allows me to chance my dream of owning my own business, even if it means he has to take on a larger parenting role. Even if it means it put immense pressures on our finances. Even if it means he has to deal with a super stressed out and exhausted wife. He has never once told me that I should do something else. In fact, there have been many times where he has stopped me from giving it all up.
He will let me work all evening or all weekend if I have to, while he takes care of the kids. He will also take his evenings to help me with my business. He will take extra hours at work. And I can’t explain how much this all means to me, but I do know I have an exceptional wonderful husband. Really he is doing much more than expected and much more than he should. However he is getting better at letting me know when he needs a break, and I do my best to make sure I do this for him as well.
He is amazing father. He plays with the kids. He reads to the kids. He is much better at bedtime with the kids than I am. Me can manage all 4 completely alone for a week without complaint (there may have been bragging here to make sure I wouldn’t forget). He makes their lunch for school every day. In fact, if I do it, the kids are quick to complain because I do it wrong.
He also still makes me laugh, and is always willing to do my crazy, last minute ideas like the day I decided I wanted to go do family pictures last minute at some sea side cliffs 45 minutes away. And then have min pose for pictures for me.
Don’t get me wrong. We have our hard days like any other couple. But even on those hard days, we love each other. And even at those times, where we are both being stupid stubborn about something really small, we manage to figure it out and move one. And more importantly apologize to each other. I feel like we are in a really good place in our marriage right now, even though we are in a period of our marriage where we are experiencing a lot of stress. It is a point that would make or break a lot of relationship, but for us.. our marriage is something I am not stressing about right now. We are in a good place. And I look forward to growing old with him.